Monday, January 7, 2008

Saying Good-Bye

There are many things in life that are difficult, and saying 'good-bye' to the people who have been an integral part of your life is one of the hardest. It's time to bid farewell to second puc. With the beginning of the month of December, the number of students who attended classes began to gradually decline. I should have realized it then. But I just couldn’t face the fact that it was time to say ‘good-bye’ so soon. I was unconcicoulsy unwilling to accept the idea, and I rebelled against it as much as possible. “It’s still December, there’s still more time….”
No, I reckon there wasen’t. The disappearance of students was too abrupt to suit me. Finally, there were just 6 of us left devotedly attending classes by Christmas time. All these six happen to be my most valuable friends---Me, Shruthi, Hemavathi, Thunga, Navyashree, Virendra, and Kavya. I reason as to why I attended classes was more to see them, savor those last few days with them than anything else. And I stupidly forced myself into an illusion and pretended 2nd PU would last forever. I wish, now, more than anything else that we could all be stuck in time. For all the seven of us have truly enjoyed the past few days so much, and we understand that these last few memories will be cherished and preserved, because we finally comprehended the gravity of the situation. No, we are honest people and we cannot say “We can stay in touch forever!” because we realize that is something unrealistic. We’re at the crossroads, with youthful ambitions and hopes aplenty, and we’ll be moving along separate channels, into different environments, and perhaps even find new friends. The memories might weaken, but for me, I assure you, they’ll be strong, because these have been the best two years of my life.

The last day of college ended in a somber note---just signing slam books, sitting on a college bench. That is just meaningless, if you ask me. Friendship cannot be defined or written down in words, it has to be experienced. I got a slam book too, just because everyone else had, but the truth is, I’m not really happy with it. A mere 30 page book cannot hold all my memories, it really cannot. If I spill my memories on paper, they’ll overflow. I admit, I am a ball of emotions. It’s hard to hide your feelings when the truth hits you so badly---this will be the last day of classes. It is not just ‘OK fine, bye then!” with me. I see this in a different perspective. It is that deep realization that I shall never be in the same phase of life again—I will not enter the class to witness sixty smiling faces---it’s just over. Done, finished! Some people rejoiced classes are over. But this girl squirmed in discomfort. Things would never be the same again….

Most of us did put on a stoic front, bravely showcasing our indifference, until we understood that the pretence was unsuccessful and the truth was pretty transparent. The truth was that all of us were feeling a bit hollow inside—a sudden void, like something invaluable has been snatched away from us, like time cheated us definitely showed in our faces. Manasa was the first one to remark “I’ll be missing you guys a lot, you know….”
Then came clear confessions, and for a moment, we felt connected in the pain of departure. The last word of comfort came from Shruthi, “Hey, it’s not over yet. I mean, there is still time after exams….”
As I drove home that day, I sensed a sudden pleasantness in the air. The winds hit me powerfully, and I enjoyed it, with Shurthi’s words still ringing in my ears “There’s still time after exams….there is still time…still time…” and I really found comfort in those words. For now, I just liked to believe (foolishly) , once again, that it was not yet the time to say ‘good-bye’ after all….we’re friends forever, we will be, no matter what.

10 comments:

latha vidyaranya said...

lakshmi, parting is such a sweet sorrow that i shall say good night till it be morrow......... thats how a bard describes parting. girls are very emotional. they derive lot of emotional satisfaction from a good friendship. and you were lucky to have had six such! you have a very realistic picture of how it is going to be after exams - each one going his/her own way. but i am sure the spirit of friendship is going to be bonding you all together always.

life is like a river and all relationships/friendships are like logs of wood sailing on that river. some logs come together, sail together till some distance and part ways after some time due to the twists and turns that the course of the river takes.......

we can not cling, however much we may want to. feel grateful for the lovely time you have all had together and part with that sense of gratitude........ and look forward to new logs of wood that may come closer to you and sail with you for some distance......

good luck to you.

Kadalabal said...

hey!
humble girl what are your great qualities it is recognsing the strengths of friends and projecting them. you are simply superb and straight. your write ups come from the bottom of your heart and so they are wonderfully crafted and I love o read them. even though I am your age and much much older loves to read and express my views once in way.
all the best for your whole group and I wish all of u will exccel in ur endeavours. never think only M/E
if ultimate if u get it do it otherwise world is big and choose some thing it suits u and u will excel. If u r totally not interested in a particular thing and forced by parents etc., please try to explain ur interest and tary to convince them thro your family friends. If any one needs my help as a elderly person I can always lend. life is short make it sweet at the same time please note life is not bed of roses but u can make it beautiful if u realise the realities. ur all having a great future and make it memorable meanigful and marvellous
may god bless and shower his blessings on each one of you and specially on you DEAR LAKSHMI
praneshachar

Lakshmi Bharadwaj said...

Thanks for the comments, Latha mam and Pranesh sir. Yes, I agree, saying good-bye can be very painful and I'm a really emotional person. Thanks, pranesh sir, for those flattering words of praise. Sure encouraged me in the time of exams. I have a series of exams from now. Wish me luck!!

Kadalabal said...

Wish you all the best may ur efforts yeild u a very promising results and I wish from the core of my heart u perform well in all ur exams starting form practicals which I suppose will be first
best wishes for all the series of exams you are going to write

Kadalabal said...

parting is painful and it is inevitable too.
part with school into college part with college into another college.....................
after joining service part on your own by resigning or part when you retire
final parting too exist....................

bibliomaniac said...

Hi Lakshmi...it's been some time, like you said. I'm sweating over my Board Practicals and exams right now...but never fear, because I have a poem on the way. It's nice to meet more people like ourselves. Once I finish my pracs, I'll surely publish more and get into touch with Deepti as well!

bibliomaniac said...

Forgot to add, I have posted a poem...visit me and tell me what you think of it!

bibliomaniac said...

P.S. Thanks for blogrolling me!

Suresh Gundappa said...

Good bye is really hard,

I have a story to share on Goodbye, if you have sometime please do check my blog

http://sureshg.wordpress.com/2007/02/09/did-you-ever-say-good-bye-to-someone-knowing-it-would-be-forever/

cheers

parijata said...

Good luck for your exams.