Finding Yourself

I am no profound thinker, but recently deep thoughts have been twisting the realms of my consciousness. They swirl, twine, connect and finally establish themselves with startling clarity. What makes a teenager tick? Career choices! The prospects are scary because I am fully aware that they’ll completely impact the rest of my life. It is an easier matter to be swayed by the torrents of advices, suggestions which flow perennially from all sides. Being a spirited person, I looked for answers from within myself, and not without careful exploration of what I really want to be.

Many a myopic eye see only two glimmering opportunities before them which makes it foolish to consider anything else---Engineering or Medicine. Only a few observe that in between them, there are a multitude of other careers which can be just as rewarding and fulfilling. There might even be careers which intigrate the two. They see it as a vital promise for the good life.
“Oh come now,” some say to me, “I know you can wriggle through electrical engineering.”
My problem is that I don;t want to wriggle through anything. I aspire to choose a subject in which I am strong, talented and skilled---something for which my aptitudes and interests converge. Something which awakens the passion in me. Many who forcibly take up engineering or medicine don’t have skills to really master it. Or else it is simply the pressure or the follow-the-herd instinct. I am unwilling to cheat myself by forcing myself to like something like electrical engineering, when I know it’s not my cup of tea, and whine the rest of my life. Medicine holds an interest too, but is a little demanding. True, true, I am aware of how much I am deviating from the conventional pattern---some say there is a lot I’ll miss. But there’ll be a lot I’ll gain too. It’s just a matter of finding yourself.

I’ve chosen to deal with the biological sciences. Be it anything from biotechnology, biochemistry, genomics or biosystematics, I’ll embrace it. You see, I’ve nurtured a dream to see me here, that it would be cruel to orphan it. In eighteen days, I am off to the United States to study in a community college my father has chosen and then transfer to a university. I still look within for everything that’s needed from me when a new phase of my life opens up. I’ll be a short wait before I find an answer. Many more thoughts provoke my mind, like mild fear but I wish to put them to rest and wait to see where the winds of change will take me…..It’ll be a new path to tread and also an uncommon one. It’ll be a discovery....

Remembering Tradition

It has been sometime since I decided to dabble with Tradition. You know, I decided to get a makeover, to get a little old-fashioned. Before you take the liberty to declare that this girl is definitely loony, let me tell you what I did!

This Saturday afternoon I decided to wear my silks with a bunch of heavy necklaces on my neck and decorate my hair with Moggina Jade’. Small things like these stir up an immediate reaction. This includes the grandparents getting over-joyed with my decision to bear a few pounds of flowers on my head, my grandma taking me on a picnic to all the houses in the neighbourhood, and my brother tut-tutting over me. You do feel imperious, royal, important and special. And more than everything else, that’s what that counts.

Now let me venture to speak on Mysore’s favorite tradition. (At least, for the girls!) Moggina Jade’ has been around for ages, normally, the girls decorate their hair with it when it’s the Jasmine season and these pretty flowers are in bloom. Generally, the bride wears it, but girls do too, on special occasions. Moggina Jade’ used to be something like craft---when the ladies ‘organized’ these flowers on your long plait in an exotic and delicate fashion. Now, it’s a minute’s business. You get them ready-made in the mysore market for 150/, and all you do is place them over your hair and simply ‘tie’ them on.

You see, things you thought would never disappear sometimes do. Like the sparrows, a non-polluted Bangalore, the jutkas, and tradition. That’s why it’s better to savour them before they’re finally gone. Try it, all this tradition thing is not as bad as it sounds. It can be fun too. Besides, I’ve taken it into my stride to break the myth that fashion, slang and rock music is all what teenagers are made of!

'Studying' Squirrels

I remember those days when I looked forward to return home from college just to observe the family of seven squirrels who lived in our mango tree. They were spirited little things, scampering about the backyard with such enthusiasm, that they invoked the same in me. In the sultry afternoons, when everyone slumbered, they would play peek-a-boo in the garden, and one would look for them for a nice escape from the mundane regularity of life. They scavenged our dustbins, which I thought was rather unfitting, so I provided them with some peanuts, (later shifted over to cashews and pista nuts much to the rage of my mother) which they absolutely loved. . It was something of a mixture of childish curiosity mingled with a sense miraculous wonder that overcame me as I stood quietly watching them from behind the crack in the door, nibbling away on peanuts. They enterained me for many happy days, until, by the end of summer we found dead squirrels in the water tank, and the rest disappeared from the mango tree forever. It is since then that I have bitterly understood that it is unwise to try and tame wild animals, or punishingly increase their dependence on us.

From six months, one particular squirrel started intruding into our lives. She had the nerves of steel, I must say, boldly scuttling into the house without a moment’s hesitation. She missed the frying pan by inches one day, surprising my mom. She made her presence apparent by chewing away some of my comics, and pieces of a teddy bear named fluffy. Her favorite place was the Atta where we store our winter quilts and unused stuff. It was this Monday I discovered that she has given birth to 2 adorable young ones in the Atta. They are bald little things, very tiny and bleakly-eyed, but are growing real well. I have tried, many times to get their picture but the little things scamper away so fast…I have figured it is impossible. Besides, I am not a very good photographer. I have now taken to spending half my day at the Dining table, doing everything from reading to dreaming right there, keeping a vigil, trying to look out for those little ones screeching above my head. Everything from the way they clean their tails to their manipulative methods of trying to steal the chickoo on the dining table are delights to watch. It has my mother enraged of course, but I welcome them quite cheerfully. A day shall come when they venture out into the wide open to explore the world which is not our dining room, but until then, I shall be thankful that they are just there, making my life more colourful and meaningful by the day.

(I shall return to blogging next Monday after COMED-K exams to tell you how I have done and how my squirrels are doing! :) )

Mr. Shenoy tagged me to fill out this questionnaire. So I’ve tried to be obedient and filled it up. Well, apart from that my CET—The Common Enterance test in this Saturday. Wish me luck!! Will return to blogging on Sunday, after the exam to tell you how I’ve done.

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
A kannada movie, days before the exam……Gaalipatha. ( Met my friend in the crowd too, and she was baffled to see this English-lovin girl enjoying a Kannada movie.)

2. What book are you reading?
Trust me, you would faint. Currently, it’s a 905 page ‘Complete guide to Karnataka CET and comed-K—Mathematics.” See? You’re swooning already.

3. Favorite board game?
Sequence

4. Favorite magazine?
don’t oogle…but it’s been Tinkle since 7 years. 

5. Favorite smells?
Smell of wet earth, freshly mowed grass, petrol an kerosene, new books, the ‘office smell’….lots more, can’t remember.

6. Favorite sounds?
Bird calls, the light windy tune of the flute, Meloncholy notes on the Veena…

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Well, there are lots. People yelling that I’m not accepting responsibility, nor learnt to cook, or dress finely, a bad question paper, facing CET exams, the nerds callin up to remind that they are smarter than you, saying good-bye.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Probably be thinking of all the fun my brother’s having with his friends when I’m to waste my time in front of textbooks.

9. Favorite fast food place?
None. Don’t like fast food. (Strange, I know!)

10. Future child’s name?
Haven’t thought about it.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?”
Plant a thousand trees for Sapgreen.


12. Do you drive fast?
Yeah, if you blame me, I blame my age! 

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I tried, but everytime I opened my eyes, I got scared by my own teddy bear.

14. Storms - cool or scary?
Cool

15. What was your first car?
I’m an unfortunate creature. Don’t own one yet.

16. Favorite drink?
Cane Juice with a hint of cool mint….an coffee.

17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
Try to get my bro to fix the computer. The alphabet ‘d’ does not work and I’ve to painfully copy an paste it every time I type.

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
I just chew stuff up without thinking abt it. So, I don’t really know an answer to this one.

19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
No, it would definitely not be pink. I would want my hair to look like Ahalya’s in Chak de though.

20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Mysore, Bangalore, Fremont (CA), Beaver dam (Wi)

21. Favorite sports to watch?
Badminton, College Basketball

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
To confess, I’m a huge fan of Mr. Shenoy. Would probably want an autograph in the future, after the media proclaims he’s the reincarnation of O Henry.

23. What’s under your bed?
Lots of things.

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Wouldn’t mind, actually.

25. Morning person, or night owl?
definitely a night owl

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Sunny side up

27. Favorite place to relax?
The Balcony, an the bean bag

28. Favorite pie?
Apple

29. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Strawberry.

I tag deepti, Anushya, and Indrani.

A Tryst with Coorg

Pristine green hills, reviving winds, Vernal blooms bursting from the undergrowth, the mist of early morning enveloping the colonial houses….where am I? Where else but Coorg! My tryst with Coorg lasted for just two days, but within that time, I have unearthed so much. Once you learn to ignore the heat and bad roads, Coorg unfolds it’s infinite splendor before your eyes. Stretches of untamed forests, wild elephants, silent water pools hidden behind a thick shield of trees…there is so much to discover, and it tempts you to brave an adventure.

Surrounded by adults who don’t match my wavelength, and the absence of chattering cousins bought out the true observer in me. My eyes soaked in every detail of the landscape, and it set me thinking. We stayed over in my Uncle’s house—a pretty one on a hillock, with such a breathtaking view of the surroundings, that it had me mesmerized. I sometimes find inexplicable joy in simple things like the smell of wet earth, a babbling thrush on the pomegranate plants. This place was too beautiful for words. Spending a lonely evening on a terrace on the hillside can give you the true perception of the mystique and grandeur of nature’s creation. The spirit of the forest reverberated in the whistle of the winds, every call of the coucal in the distance. The magic of that environment can only be experienced. It gives you the sense of timelessness—where there is no past, future, or present. There is thrill of surprise every time something streaks past above your head. Visits such as these expand your horizons---to think a little beyond the life of marks, CET, and daily coaching classes. Coorg ignited my imagination and painted it with myriad colours.

This season, Coorg is alive with the vibrancy of life. You will find at least one feathered friend behind every silent thicket. There is no need to tell that it is very rich in it’s biodiversity. I have such a wide variety of birds here---all very exotic (excuse me, but even the common birds of Coorg are exotic in a Bangalorian’s dictionary!). I have spotted Sunbirds, Pied Kingfishers, Coucals, Yellow-billed Hornbills, Drongo (Jungle Crow), black ibises, tailorbirds, blue-jays, a woodpecker, wagtails, and magpie robins. I have spotted this butterfly called Malabar Banded Peacock Butterfly, endemic to Karnataka. Those 2 days, I have felt like I was living in a different part of the world with a true sense of belonging to it. I have seen wild elephants being tamed, seen the hesitancy in the eyes of a spotted deer when a car approaches too close, and even waited like a dreamer with an Umbrella in hand for that elusive woodpecker to return to a nearby tree (it never did!). I have drenched myself in a waterfall (Irpu Waterfalls), sipped coffee outside forest guest houses, and ultimately found deep contentment.. As I once again tackle my books, my mind cannot help but wander to Coorg, with star-sprinkled skies and beautiful flora and fauna and I find myself sinfully wishing for one more trip.

(photos from cousin Renu...)

I'm celebrating!

It’s the time of celebration for me. I’m celebrating my 50th post here, and look back to see it’s already been over an year of blogging experience. My blogs (well, most of them) have become an online version of my journal and I find the same amount of delight in rereading them as I do in reading my previous journals. I started blogging on the 26th of March, 2007. That was a long time ago, and I was thinking I would have completed a 100th blog by now. Well, I’m not sad it didn’t happen. I guess my priorities were different, and sometimes, bloggging took a backseat.

For a teenager who’s growing up so quickly, life shifts pace rapidly too. Lifestyles change—you are in school one moment, and then in college. And by the time you settle down, you are facing the board exams and the lecturers wave you off….then, there are new things to discover. Every day I grow up, every day, there is something new in my life. And my blog keeps reminding me of all the fun I had in second PU and the way I was thinking at that point of time. My brain tends to be volatile, sometimes immature, sometimes strangely vague and clouded, I cannot define it. My blogs help me to go back and see the way I am growing up as they mirror my thoughts.

For example, when someone wrote that I was trying to indulge in ‘shameless self-promotion’ on my blog, I really took it to heart and whole-heartedly agreed with that person without as much as analyzing myself. Now I think that was seriously immature of me. On account of my fiftieth post, I wish to spice up my blog with interesting features and welcome some constructive criticism. I was thinking of replacing the title with something more insightful and metaphoric (suggestions are welcome!) and even find a better template, if possible.

I'm Back!!!

After a prolonged hour waiting for the bus in the hot sun by the roadside, and practically ‘hanging’ from the only piece of metal I could safely grab unto before a bulky woman decided to smother me with her weight, almost suffocating in a crowded bus…..I still returned home with a smile. The reasons? There were plenty. I finished my exams yesterday, chit-chatted effortlessly with some of my closest pals doing full justice to what I call ‘talking’ (for the past few months it has been just a quiver of a nervous smile and a hopeful ‘All the Best’)…..and I suddenly realized I was free to blog again.

The past few days for me have been filled with drudgery and the monotony of continuous hours of studying. I was left with nothing to write about, to be honest, except perhaps a long list of exam dates, portions and countless unsystematic time-tables that no one would be interested in. The only ‘writing’ I did was in one prep exam after another, until I lost count. Creativity was buried in the sea of formulae, a list of doubts, confused muddle of diagrams and memorized words from Shivaraudrappa’s Bhimaaalapa. In my free time, I confess I tried my hand at writing something like a story, but my tensed up brain spun some meaningless sentences without a tail. Finally, I declined and decided to give it up as a bad job and settled to staring out of the window for comfort from the mundane hours of studying.

February is the time of the year to listen to a million advises, you know, when your relatives suddenly remember your existence. Many people share those great words of wisdom that I’m supposed to respect. Ask any relative and they give you grave hints for the perilous future ahead (‘the turning point in life’ ‘You are at the crucial phase’ ‘These fifteen days can change your life’ ‘Look at the previous year question papers, they are the key to tackling tough papers…’ ). Well, thank goodness that is over. I would like to put the exams behind me now, with the satisfaction that I have given it my best, and fill the next few blogs with pure holiday fun before it is time to worry for my CET. But the fact remains that I’m definitely back to blogging, folks! It’s time to sleep in, to relax on a bean bag with my favorite novels, and clean my room which has started resembling an unkempt garage these days….and blog also, because it’s so much fun!!!